Science of Love and Sexual Attraction
Sexual Attraction - What It Is
This website is about a new idea as to why we are attracted to members of the opposite sex. It explains why some people are attracted to members of the opposite sex more than others. It also explains why some people are not attracted to members of the opposite sex at all. This is a new idea about what the composition of sexual attraction is.
Factor B and Sexual Attraction
To put it bluntly to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex you have to have a certain type of energy. For the sake of identification let us call this energy "Factor B”. There is also a second type of energy here named “Factor A” (see glossary page). People have different quantities of Factor B so we can talk about the volume of Factor B (energy) that someone has for the opposite sex. The more Factor B someone has, the more that person, male or female, is turned on by members of the opposite sex. Not only this but that person is more easily turned on by a member of the opposite sex in the first place. This can be something as simple as for males, a pretty girl walking by in the street or for females a handsome man walking by. Someone with little or no Factor B would not be turned on in the same scenario. How do I know this. I know this because when I was 22 nearly fifty years ago I did not have much Factor B. Through a unique set of circumstances I acquired a considerable increase in Factor B and the change in my interactions with females was dramatic. See the page “My Story” for the full explanation as to how this happened.
The fact is that a “true” homosexual does not have any of this energy or very little and therefore is not attracted to members of the opposite sex. My definition of a homosexual is someone who is not attracted to members of the opposite sex and more significantly gets involved in physical and emotional homosexual activities. A person can feel no attraction to members of the opposite sex and not be homosexual. The reasons why some people have more, or less, or none of this energy are varied. This is covered on the page "My Story" of this website.
There are various indicators of how much of this volume of Factor B a person has. For example a male and a female will establish eye contact with each other in a public place such as the street or a bar or nightclub. They will be complete strangers to each other. It's a special type of eye contact that only those who have experienced would understand (not everybody has or will experience this). Having Factor B is a major factor as to whether this occurs or not. It has been referred to in the past as "giving someone the eye" or “our eyes locked together”. People without (or with very little) Factor B cannot experience this type of eye contact with a member of the opposite sex. You could be the most attractive person in the world and would never experience this type of eye contact because this Factor B is not there. People have different amounts of Factor B. The amount of Factor B that someone has plays a big part in what someone can experience in a male/female relationship. People with little or low amounts of Factor B are not automatically homosexual they are just not attracted to members of the opposite sex.
Let's call the type of energy that a male has concerning being attracted to a female Factor-MtoF ( i.e. Factor-male-to-female) and the type of energy that a female has concerning being attracted to a male Factor-FtoM (i.e. Factor-female-to-male). They are both Factor B, i.e. that energy that enables a male or female to be attracted to a member of the opposite sex.
When two people of opposite sex fall in love they somehow “join together their respective “volume-of-Factor B’s” i.e. Factor-MtoF and Factor-FtoM (both Factor B). This then produces the fantastic feeling that members of the opposite sex get when they fall in love. It would seem that this has to be produced by the two different types of Factor B’s i.e. Factor-FtoM and Factor-MtoF i.e. from a male and a female “joining together” for this to occur.
Factor A (see Glossary page)
A homosexual might think that they are strongly attracted to their partner but according to the theory that I am putting forward here, they would only have a second type of energy i.e Factor A, which is a same sex “energy” which I will call for men Factor-MtoM (i.e. Factor-male-to-male) and for females Factor-FtoF (i.e. Factor-female-to-female). Heterosexual people have Factor A and Factor B. A homosexual would never experience the highs that happen when different sex couples fall in love. Nature intended the reward for falling in love heterosexually to be exceptional so that opposites of sex want to stay together and have children to prolong the human race.A heterosexual male has Factor-MtoF (Factor B) and Factor-MtoM (Factor A).
A heterosexual female has Factor-FtoM (Factor B) and Factor-FtoF (Factor A).
A homosexual male has either only Factor-MtoM (Factor A) or this, and very little or no Factor-MtoF(Factor B) and indulges in homosexual acts.
A homosexual female has either only Factor-FtoF(Factor A) or this and very little or no Factor-FtoM(Factor B) and indulges in homosexual acts.
It is my observation that homosexuality is like a drug and that once someone has indulged in it (i.e. the physical and emotional acts of homosexuality) it is extremely hard to come out of. In fact I think if anyone did want to stop practicing the physical and emotional side of homosexuality then they should take the same approach as anyone who is trying to get off an addiction. There are self-help groups for alcohol, drugs and gambling addictions. There is a group in England called Alcoholics Anonymous which helps people to get off the addiction of alcohol. A group could maybe set up in the same way for people who want to stop practicing homosexual acts. Maybe there is such a group already.
There are two famous presenters on British television (Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan, a husband and wife team) who I can remember stating (in the 1980's) that all their “gay” friends without exception would if it were possible, prefer not to be “gay”. Considering the hard time that homosexuals have had in the past this is understandable.
A person who does not have the described energy above (i.e. Factor B) needed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex is not necessarily a homosexual. They are just not attracted enough to members of the opposite sex and unable to experience the many types of heterosexual experiences from flirting to being passionately in love. It is my belief that this theory of mine will bring about a greater understanding of human sexuality and take away many if not all (hopefully) prejudices in this area. My compassion is with people who do not have the capability to obtain the pleasure that can be had from a heterosexual relationship because they have either no or little Factor B. There are, of course people who do not have sufficient quantity of Factor B to feel attracted to members of the opposite sex and have never partaken in homosexual acts.
My compassion is also for many other forms of “disadvantages” that people have to live with in life e.g. all the people who don't have a complete life because of physical disabilities.
It is no great crime to live through life without a husband, wife boyfriend or girlfriend. Many people live fulfilling, successful and beneficial lives to others, without long term partners
I have observed dogs (two males in particular I can think of) who indulged in their own version of homosexual acts purely and simply because the more pro-active one did not have access to a female dog. This male dog liked his female dogs (believe me).
Homosexuality is not black and white as some heterosexual people will indulge in homosexuality for whatever reason they indulge in it, whilst still being capable of being attracted to members of the opposite sex. This is the bi-sexual person.
I do stress here that just because someone has not got the special type of energy needed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex (i.e. Factor B) it does not make them a homosexual. A “true” homosexual is someone who is not attracted to a member of the opposite sex and seeks substitution for this by indulging in physical and mental homosexual acts. By “mental” homosexual act I mean for example lusting after someone of the same sex. There is a difference between liking someone of the same sex (as a friend) and lusting after them. Someone who is not attracted to members of the opposite sex but does not indulge in homosexual acts (physical or mental) is not homosexual. They are just not attracted to members of the opposite sex in that special way that is needed to form a successful and enjoyable relationship.
I have said above people have different amounts of this Factor B that is needed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. For the most part, the amount stays stable throughout someone's life but an individual can lose some of this Factor B or gain some of this Factor B in various ways. I believe that at sometime when someone is growing up a person could lose this Factor B whilst their brother or sister does not, which makes them different in that way. We could have a scenario where one brother could have good relationships with women and the other brother might not, purely for the reason that one brother has little or virtually no Factor B. There are other reasons as to why people establish a good relationship with a member of the opposite sex for example intelligence, but Factor B has to be there for there to be any spark in the relationship.
What I have written so far may seem complicated but it may become clearer if I tell you exactly how I came to formulate over 40 years ago this idea that there was a special type of energy that one has to have to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. This is covered in the pages "My Story on this website.
Since 1972 I have been observing this theory about this special type of energy (Factor B) needed to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. Nothing I have seen over the last 40 years has disproved, in my eyes, this theory but has rather enhanced my belief in it.
I have observed, mostly males, who can rattle away to a female as a friend and both seem to be enjoying each others conversation but there is no spark there. Oscar Wilde (a homosexual in England in the late 1800's) was a brilliant raconteur and playwright and the darling of many ladies but that's as far the relationship went. There would have been no spark. He did not have any (or very little) Factor B. I have observed in extreme cases, where you look at a male and female talking together and it looks and sounds like two women are talking to each other even though it is a male and a female. This does not mean (in this case), that the male is a homosexual, it just means he can't form that bond with the female that he might be able to do if he had Factor B. I have observed it the other way around, though, not so graphically, where a male is talking to a female who does not have Factor B, and it looks a bit like two males are talking together. I have only seen this rarely. Often for whatever reason it seems to be rarer than the first scenario. Often (but not always) because of having little or no Factor B a man's voice will become high-pitched (like a woman's) and conversely quite often a female with little or no Factor B will (but not always) speak with a much deeper voice, like a man. One of the classic exceptions to this alteration in the pitch of voice was the Hollywood actor from the 50's and 60's Rock Hudson. He appeared to be a “macho man” but it transpired towards the end of his life it was revealed that he was, and had been for a long time a practising homosexual. He died of aids. But, he was an actor and a very good one at that. He was possibly bi-sexual..
Some heterosexual males and females are known to indulge in homosexuality in prisons. They have never done anything homosexual before but give into this “temptation” to experience something sexual as a substitute for the real thing.
Therefore I would like to think that this theory would mean that people who are prejudiced about homosexuality would have an understanding of what has been a big contributory factor in a persons' failure to have any sort of heterosexual relationship with another.
People who do not have this Factor B have a big piece of life missing from their lives but like all disadvantages in life, individuals who have a disadvantage have to make the best of things. Homosexuals should not be pilloried and treated like they have a contagious disease. Whilst I believe homosexuality should not be encouraged, compassion and understanding should be in place for those who do not have these abilities that a heterosexual person has (or potential I should say).
There are some really intelligent people who do not experience the joy of a heterosexual relationship because they lack Factor B in their make-up which precludes them from doing so. One could say others with less than ideal situations in their lives, for example low intelligence, might find it extremely difficult to form a heterosexual relationship though it hasn't stopped some people of this nature I have seen from having boyfriends/girlfriends.
FACTOR B EXPERIENCES
Here are some things that a heterosexual person can experience as a preliminary to a “talking relationship” with a member of the opposite sex that a person with little or no Factor B probably has not experienced.
1. That long lingering eye contact that you get with a member of the opposite sex in a public place with a complete stranger and is very enjoyable and you aren't even saying a word. This experience will depend on how physically attractive someone is as well as the need to have Factor B. Your gaze seems to lock on to the other person's gaze. There are other subtle factors like how much “presence” someone has. Some people emanate “calmness and power’ in their bearing. The reason for this will be covered later. Part of the reason for this calmness and presence is the amount of Factor A and Factor B a person has. This “phenomena” of special eye contact with a member of the opposite sex was a crucial factor as to how I was able to work out the theory that there was Factor B. I was able to work this out concerning Factor B due to a unique set of circumstances over 40 years ago. This is explained in the page “My Story”
2. Flirting with a member of the opposite sex. Someone with very little or no Factor B cannot flirt no matter how attractive or good looking they are. They might get a lot of attention because of the quality of their looks. I remember working in a hotel where there was a very attractive waitress and my work mate as well as myself fancied (English slang for “ were attracted to ) this girl. We were both talking to her and he was going hell-for-leather at chatting her up. I was not getting the normal signals from this girl that I would normally be getting in this situation. She didn't even glance at me when she was talking to my colleague. At this point I did think something “odd here”. My colleague kept trying to “chat her up” for the next few weeks and then one day said to me I don't think I am going to talk to (this girl) any more “she's always moaning when I talk to her”.
This girl then left the workplace and “came out” (as a lesbian) after she had left. Yes, she told people she was a lesbian after she had left. She did not have Factor B and therefore was not able to talk to my colleague in a way which would have formed a heterosexual relationship. Some time after she left, I talked to her about her homosexuality and she did tell me that she had been quite close to having sex with a male (indicating a distance of about 2 inches with her fingers). Males can be very persistent! I advised her not to broadcast the fact that she was lesbian considering the prejudices that people have against homosexuals.
3. Physical contact with a member of the opposite sex (knees under the table, sitting next to someone on a bus or train with a complete stranger and physically touching that person with your body. No words are spoken but physical contact is made and it is a turn-on.
The three items numbered above are not set in stone as I can remember one girl I used to go out with who although very good looking did not respond to men looking at her in the street when I was with her. She did not seem aware they were looking at her in a complimentary way. She was responsive however in other physical ways. In fact the first contact we made was eye contact when she came into a bank I worked in. Like I have said above, the physical attractiveness of each person is a factor in eye contact. It's as if even someone with a small amount of Factor B will look at someone who is extremely good looking or attractive but will only give this type of admiring look to someone with a very strong “aesthetic signal” emanating, whereas someone with a greater volume of Factor B will be attracted to a wide range of “aesthetic signals” i.e. a wide range of degree of attractiveness. To put it bluntly, attractive people get better and more admiring looks than not-so-attractive people from strangers in public places. The analogy of signal strength (as in radio signals can be used here. Someone can be a strong signal sender and receiver (good volume of Factor B) or one can be a poor signal sender and receiver (low or non-existent volume of Factor B). Natural attractiveness is like a natural boost to the “signal”. The more attractive someone is, adds to the “strength” of the signal being sent.
Factor B and Physics
It is perhaps worth mentioning here that Factor B and Factor A can be talked about in terms of physics. It is indeed a basic principle of physics that enabled me to work out the theory of the existence of Factor B. That basic principle of physics is this: “When two energy quantities are put in proximity to each other then the higher energy source will go to the lower energy source provided there is a way that the higher energy can travel. A simple example of this is: if you put a square glass beaker of hot water adjacent and touching next to a square glass beaker of cold water then the heat (energy) will transfer from the hot water to the cold water and this will continue until they are both the same temperature. It is a basic principle of physics. See the ‘My Story’ page to see how this principle enabled me to acquire a quantity of Factor B, but only because a unique set of circumstances were in place at the time.
EXPLANATION of Factor B
You could say that to put it in a representative way, your body could be represented by two glass beakers side by side, beaker X, and beaker Y.
Now in beaker X a person might have say the beaker half full or any other quantity of the Factor B represented by some water. This is their allocation, or what they have, so to speak, of volume of Factor B. In the other beaker they would have a volume of Factor A
Beaker X has Factor B in it.
Beaker Y has Factor A in it.
This could be considered a “normal person” where they have a quantity of each type of Factor (Factor A and Factor B).
As far as I have observed everybody has got the Factor A that enables them to get along with members of the same sex, and I mean get along but not in a sexual way. Not everybody has got the Factor B that is described in beaker X above, or some have so little that it is virtually the same as having none.
I have said half full of the Factor B in beaker X. This does not mean half of what they should have. The quantity of both Factor A and Factor B is open ended but there are limiting factors as to how much one can have which I will not go into here at the moment. People have enormously different quantities of both Factor B and Factor A. Some have plenty; some have little and some have somewhere in between. There are certain things that you notice about people depending on what quantities of each type of Factor they have which it is not necessary to go into in great detail at the moment. People with lower quantities of the two kinds of Factor quite often will be “jerky” in their movements, something that I have seen listed as a characteristic that females find unattractive in a male. Believe me the same applies for jerkiness in females. It's not attractive. People with high quantities of the two types of Factor tend to be graceful and calm in their movements. There is another factor which has a bearing on jerkiness in body movements but that will be covered later. At the moment this page is about volumes of Factor A and Factor B.
PUTTING THE THEORY TO THE TEST
Just a word here about when I put my theory to the test. I used to work in a place where there was a supervisor who was a self-admitted lesbian. She was good at her job but used to go about it in a way which unnerved males. She was very intelligent but used to deal with males that she came into contact with by being “scary”. I think this was so males would back off from her and keep their distance. I have noticed that people with little or no Factor B do not deal with being shouted at or spoken to with any degree of verbal force very well, by a member of the opposite sex. It's as if you need this Factor B to counteract any force (verbal) being directed at you by a member of the opposite sex. If you haven't got any Factor B then you cannot answer back with a similar or greater force. There is nothing there to answer back with. They crumble or do not answer back.
To put my theory to test I found myself in a situation with the girl mentioned in the paragraph above and we were having a little bit of a disagreement. At one point she said to me in her usual scary voice “How dare you talk to me like that?” in her usual scary way. I replied with a little bit of force in my voice (deliberately put there) to see what her response was to that. My heart was in my mouth a little bit as normally if I said this to someone in that tone of voice I would have got a heated response. She said nothing in reply to my comment. She is a lesbian. She has no Factor B. It was the end of the conversation with her. She was a different person with me after that.. As far as I am concerned this confirmed my theory about Factor B. In fact she was quite pleasant to talk to after that. I think she realised I understood her situation and I would not take advantage of it.
I am not condemning her for the way she is made. My only concern is the practice of homosexual acts. Just because somebody is not attracted to members of the opposite sex does not mean you have to indulge in homosexual acts. Many people go through life not being attracted to members of the opposite sex (or various other reasons why they can't form a relationship e.g. not too hot on their personality) and don't seek a substitute in a homosexual relationship. If one has a disadvantage in life one has to make the best of it. Some people are born with missing limbs or lose them later on in life. This makes it difficult to play sports in a lot of cases. One has to work around a disadvantage in life and in many cases people do without breaking moral codes.
I always think of the scenario of if you were stranded on a desert island for 20 years with one member of the same sex as you. The temptation after 10 years of no other company except this one person might be to indulge in a homosexual relationship even if both people were normally heterosexual.
This all may seem very complicated but believe me I have been observing this theory since 1972 and it stands the test of time. You can even predict that certain things will or might happen having this knowledge of these two types of Factor. I can remember sitting at a table in a café when a friend and I started talking to two girls who were strangers. I was doing all right in chatting them up when my friend who could be quite forceful muscled in on my act. Although he was saying plenty to these two girls I could see that they were not responding ‘sexually’ to what he was saying. We walked away alone. I am pretty sure that this meant he did not have a lot of Factor B, if any at all. There has to be a spark for opposite members of the sex to have a chance of being interested in each other. That spark is started off with Factor B. I have not seen much of him since this encounter. It was about 10 years ago. It would have been useful to see other instances of his reaction with women to corroborate my theory.
As it happens he is married now, but I know of people who get married because they get on with each other (there is a lot of social pressure for people to get married). These types of marriages happen because each partner gets on with the other. They are not in love when they get married. I have seen quite a few instances of this occurring in my lifetime.
Please click on the page "My Story" which explains how my theory concerning sexual attraction was formulated relating to this phenomenon of Factor B and Factor A.
If you have any comments or questions please do not hesitate to contact me through the contact page of this website.
© Copyright England, 10 November 2018